Oh Mitch, still a whiny little terrapin.

Mitch McConnell (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Awww Mitchy wrote a whole ass rambling Op-Ed in the Courier Journal because he was totally, definitely not affected by being confronted by local protesters. Not at all.

“If the mean old socialists who yelled at me, had their way, America would be safer, still have borders, and wouldn’t allow their president to lock up babies.”

Oops, that’s not what he said.

Let’s dissect (in our own rambling fashion) what he actually said behind his computer, totally, definitely not affected by being confronted by local protesters. Not in the least little bit.

“The far-left has started a campaign to heckle government officials throughout the country — something I’ve recently experienced first-hand,” says Mitch, totally, definitely not affected by being confronted. “The self-described socialists who confronted me proudly admitted that they are not concerned with persuasion or having a discussion about public policy. They are only interested in intimidation.”

Mitch McConnell who is totally, definitely not affected by being confronted, wants you to know that the mean old folks who yelled some questions at him don’t want to have a discussion.

How many town halls has Mitch held? Oh he’ll tell you that it’s because he knows that protesters will interrupt. Protesters don’t interrupt every town hall because every politician doesn’t hide from their constituents. Mitch does. He’s in the weeds with Trump and Russia, but look over here Kentucky, “I’m totally, definitely not affected by being confronted.”

Mitch, good try buddy. We get it. Your whole career of being the political equivalent of an non-consensual enema is being torn apart in front of your eyes and now the American public realizes that you’ve sold them out for power and dirty rubles. For those who don’t know what a ruble is, ask Mitch. He does.

“I’ve dealt with criticism before,” says Mitch, still totally, definitely unaffected. “It’s a part of holding elected office and to be expected as Senate Majority Leader. But I don’t know what about my career has given these socialist extremists the idea I will be intimidated by them. My office wall is covered with political cartoons — many from this paper — skewering me. I have stood up to the fringe-left my entire career, and I am proud to continue to do so.”

Here’s the giveaway. We’re not on the fringe. Not at all. There are more of us than he’s comfy with so he has to let us know that we’re not really all that important.

He’s wagging his crinkly old fingers at the bad, bad left because he needs us to know that he is (repeat after me), totally, definitely unaffected.

Mitch has reached his expiry date. He either doesn’t know or is flat out lying when he describes what groups are doing to deal with his government’s bad policies. Also he equates all social activist groups with socialists. Hey Mitch, you might wanna check your facts.

“Instead, their calls to “Abolish ICE” have a troubling motive: to no longer enforce our immigration laws and thereby open our national borders,” says Mitch who is… (you already know).

Mitch has Mijente confused with the DSA and other socialist groups. Furthermore, all socialists aren’t the same. You know this, Mitch. It’s kinda like how the GOP tries to tell us that all of you right-wing bowel empties aren’t the same, except true.

“If these self-described socialists had their way, we would have no immigration laws and our borders would be meaningless. The result would effectively erase our national boundaries and destroy the principles of law and order.”

Holy shit balls. Did he really say this? Because we’ve watched the GOP president travel to Russia and commit actual treason in real time but now Mitch wants to whine about law and order. Wow.

First, socialists don’t want to “end” borders.That is a fiction, like Mitch’s marriage. We’re also highly uninterested in living in an evangelical fundamentalist protectorate of Russia.

“Our state and local law enforcement system would lack the resources to effectively prevent terrorists and criminals from walking into our country to commit heinous crimes against our families” says Mitch.

Check the crime stats on crimes committed by foreign people. Not because I know Mitch is lying, which he is; but because I want you and all of the folks who think they support Mitch to know he’s not being truthful at all. Let me add that this op-ed and these claims are uncharacteristically messy for Mitch. I’m kind of shocked.

One last thing. Mitch says, “Put simply: without borders, there can be no security.”

We’ve always had borders, and as the nation grew, colonizers expanded those borders over other folks borders. Borders let a lot of uninvited guests gain a nearly 300-year sense of security that, in actuality, was never real.

Borders didn’t stop Timothy McVeigh from blowing up a building, didn’t stop Dylann Roof from shooting up a black church, didn’t stop an American soldier from shooting up the Dallas police force. It certainly didn’t stop planes from flying into the Twin Towers on 9/11. Borders are a fiction. The best protection for the United States and any nation isn’t imaginary lines. Good relations and diplomacy serve the best protection.

You can still draw your little lines and loosely, just as its always been, people will respect them but only if they respect you.

I bet people walk on your grass a lot, don’t they Mitch?

The GOP has been eroding our security for years and yet they want you to watch the lines on the ground.

  • Ask the farmers how the lines on the ground will affect their soybean and corn crops this year, Mitch.
  • Ask steelworkers in America how those lines on the ground next to Canada will affect their production.

Mitch, instead of asking American citizens to be up in arms over imaginary lines on the ground, perhaps your efforts would be better spent on protecting the real production of American working families by corralling the bright orange village idiot that the GOP unleashed.

His destruction of alliances around the world is a bigger threat to our safety than any Mother crossing the border with her babies looking for a better life.

Mitch, we know that being confronted didn’t scare you and that you were totally, definitely unaffected by it. We get what you’re trying to say.

We’re just not believing you. Not at all. Not in the least little bit. We’ll see you at dinner.


Mitch, we know that you’re totally, definitely unaffected by being confronted so we’d love to invite you to a conversation. I’ll talk to you. I’m sure that many reasonable folks would be willing to talk to you. Name the time and the place, dear Mitchy. We will be there and we will even listen to you talk but bottom line, you have to also listen to us.

Wait, you don’t have to listen to me, I live in Indiana, now, but you should listen to all Kentuckians, even the socialists. Who wants to sit down with Mitch?



Originally published at www.quillandinkfreelance.com on July 19, 2018.